Sundials in the shade

“Give me a specific example of what you would like to call the biggest failure of your life and how you dealt with that?” sounds familiar? Well, this was the question I was asked at a recent job interview. I took a long pause. Its not that I wasn’t prepared for this question but the time it took me to answer that question sure must have exhibited my unpreparedness for the interview. The weird part is, before facing any new challenge or going for a job interview requires us to be well acquainted with our weaknesses. Why? Are they trying to set us up for the next set of failures? Why is it not important for him to find out who am I by knowing what I do best or what my strengths are?

Most organizations are built on the assumption that:

• one can learn to be competent in almost anything
  
• Once you identify or acknowledge your weaknesses, the organization will help manifest growth in those areas through the specific tools or training materials that they might be having in place.
  

I wasn’t sure if marks in any specific examination or not passing a particular exam or not finding the most desired career path or not working for an XYZ company or …………….what, would I consider my biggest failure? Whether not being able to fulfill the dream of becoming a writer or not seeing my name on the Billboard would fit into the category of failure? Life, to me, is a series of successes and failures. The biggest failure? I don’t understand that. Everything becomes irrelevant in life as we move on. We are always looking for something more, something new or something more challenging. In that respect as long as we are living thriving individuals, these will be a part of life and the fact that I am still looking for more should be a good enough example that I never give up and that’s how I handle it!

I recently finished reading a book by Markus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton, called NOW, DISCOVER YOUR STRENGHTS. It tells us that the “the real tragedy of life is not that each of us doesn’t have enough strengths, it’s that we fail to use the ones we have. The acid test of the strength is that it can be done consistently and nearly perfectly which cannot be perfected without an underlying talent to it”. What an eye opening statement it was! Aren’t we always trying to fit in and fix what may not be our strengths? If a person is good at something he is expected to shift direction in the area where he might be lacking so that he can emerge someone with an all round personality. Result is, we end up concentrating toward building a society of mediocres because this all round personality according to me, is a misnomer. Would Tiger Woods start playing Tennis or Whitney Houston start writing novels to have an all round personality? They are doing what they do best. We listen to Joel Osteen because motivational speaking is his natural talent. He worked around his natural talent and is able to draw a crowd of thousands of people. I have read that writing fantasy came naturally to J K Rowling. In fact she wrote her first fantasy story at the age of 6. No wonder she is no.2 on the list of women Billionaires. She worked more and more around it rather than trying to figure out if she could also lay her hands at writing thrillers…………

Well, I found my answer. I knew my failure was not to listen to my instincts and natural talents and trying fix my weak point and fit in…………..I would say listen to your instincts and play around your natural talents. Do you?

Beauty Lies in the Eyes...

Ever wondered why just by looking at someone we have never seen before, evokes a spontaneous yet profound feeling of like or dislike, respect or admiration, humor or contempt or just a vague indescribable feeling? Over time, I have realized that it has nothing to do with physical appearances, or the clothing line that one adorns. Although it’s true that “a thing of beauty is joy forever” the reaction can nevertheless be the same… Even the most beautiful face may not be so beautiful to one particular person. The opposite also holds a substantial amount of truth to it; someone with no great features and looks can be the most attractive person we find. What intrigues me is how we judge a person to be handsome or beautiful. Is it their thoughts, their confident demeanor, their body language, or their overall personality? It fascinates me…

We meet so many people on a daily basis. Some can be total strangers and some we’ve created strong bonds with. More often than not however, that very first look and a brief interaction can tell a lot about them. It could also be pure instinct but is our instinct generated through the signal that they send to us? But if that is true then everyone around us would feel the same about them. There would be one homogeneous pattern to it. Rather, we find that what might be beautiful to me may be a subject of total disapproval for someone else. While a painting on the wall that would keep my gaze fixed for a long long time may not even be noticeable by others.

I started wondering, may be this whole analysis or exercise is futile. Beauty doesn't fit into a logical equation. It is natural, visual or emotional but logical? I doubt so. To equate beauty to merely the physical attraction would also be unjustified. There are so many different elements to it. It’s something that reaches out and touches our heart. It’s unique and personal to each individual. It doesn’t matter what signal they are transmitting to us, it depends on how we are processing them, which in turn depends a lot on our own mental makeup. No wonder they said “beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.” 

There’s a story behind each individual which in large part shapes their thought pattern reflecting it on their faces. Since there are so many different fragments to it, some of them might touch that sensitive cord of us and some might completely fail to reach us when we come in contact with them giving us that different and wide array of impressions.

I was following the story of Youssif, the 5 year old Iraqi boy who was picked up while playing outside his house and doused on fire making his face completely distorted. A few days ago I saw that the plastic surgery done on him has been very successful and he is fast on the road to recovery. He cheered in excitement to see that he could smile and open his mouth. The things that we take for granted was a cause of major celebration for him. I don’t think I have seen a smile more beautiful than that ever before and a face so full of life.

"It’s not them," I was contemplating, "it’s us!" May be there are no unattractive faces out there. We just look at them differently...