Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Mother's day

I woke up this morning with a sweet kiss on my cheek and with a whisper in my ear “Happy Mother’s Day, mommy!" I flung my arms open and my daughter came rushing to give me a big giant hug (as she likes to say). She gave me a beautiful card very diligently created by her and she also brought me a gift that she had made herself. In preparation for this day, she had been working very hard making this beautiful flower vase for me.

She didn’t forget to mention her brother’s name on the card she brought as he is only 22 months old and obviously cannot contribute toward her efforts. She told me: “Thank you mommy for all that you do for keeping us safe, happy and healthy”. Wow, that made my day. My daughter likes to make her own card for people she likes. This is her way of making them feel special as she customizes it with her original words and real emotions. The card was made out of a piece of printing paper folded into two parts, nothing fancy about it. It's beauty was its sweetness of thoughts and simplicity of words. She decorated the cover with lilies and daffodils, my favorite flowers, she knew !

We all want to be the role models for our kids. We want a perfect life for them that we have envisioned for their future. We work hard for them to try to achieve those dreams. But sometimes aren’t we are missing to understand them? In an endeavor to achieve the goals we have set out for them, we sometimes push them beyond their threshold, to the point of denying them the simple pleasures of life, just because we expect them to keep up to our expectations! I was taking a moment to understand a few things. What is a perfect life? Is it about rushing from one activity to the other, solving quizzes and puzzles all the time, doing multiplication, division, and working on their vocabulary on the go? Well, that’s important too, no denying there, but spending some quality time with them, actually paying attention when listening to them, understanding their aspirations and desires and laughing with them at silly jokes would turn them into more confident people, an important ingredient for success in life. The problem is, there is only so much time available in this busy crazy life. It’s not like the olden times when there used to be lots of help around with the household activities, where there used to be separation of duties between men and women. With changing socio-economic scenario, the roles have been merged and boundaries eliminated. Everybody is equally busy. Sometimes, I feel guilty for getting mad at my kids for being naughty. It has nothing to do with them. It’s because we have to finish so much in the limited time, it’s because we are always rushing. The craziness of our lives make us forget that they are just kids but we expect them to grow up way before their age. We forget that “because I said so” doesn’t work anymore as they demand much more than that, and why not? After all whys and hows should always be answered with some sold reasoning, solid ground, a firm yet appealing answer for them to grow into a sensible and mature adults.

This morning I decided to ignore the imperfections termed childhood. After all I was showered with their love so much, it was my turn to do to something special for them. And surprisingly enough, the same naughtiness looked so sweet to me, I smiled every time my daughter tried to walk on her hands upside down knocking something down coming her way, and my son would bring his remote control car right into the kitchen and would make it go in a circle over and over and over again. Then he would want me to pick him up, and today, as I very gladly picked him up and ruffled his hair, he broke in to a laughter that looked blissful. He brought his face very close to me and said “mum mum”. That was a very special moment of my life, not because they didn’t say it before, but because I was paying much more attention to it, I was more involved with them and was enjoying every moment of it! I tried to be another kid with them not their rule making parent.

Kids can have the best friends in their parents if the parents tried to understand them and tried to be involved with them at their age level. Who says mothers and daughters can’t be best friends? I can see that I have already started taking advises from my daughter on so many things. We do things together, laugh and enjoy together, even make fun of each other sometimes. I can actually spot a glitter in her eyes when she sees me being her friend and confidante rather than just a mom. My son is at his best when I try to have a conversation with him which doesn’t mean anything at this stage, but the fact that I am looking into eyes very intently and nodding every time he tries to say something which doesn’t make any sense, makes him feel important and happy. Kids are very fragile and very emotional. They understand and absorb way beyond than they can express. All they need is a warm hug and a sweet kiss to ward off all their worries in life. They would never look for emotional security outside if they are assured of it at home!

It’s the most beautiful relationship on this earth! And I had the best Sunday with my kids today on Mother’s Day. The moments shared with them were more expensive than any Christian Dior fragrance or accessories, more elegant than a fancy dinner with valet parking, or more relaxing than any spa could have offered me!

A good mother is not someone who protects her kids from falling, its the one who teaches her kids that if they stumble upon, they need to get up and walk again, only with more powerful strides!

Happy Mother’s Day


Vikas said...

awesome awesome :)

Sourabh Pandey said...

very nice and very true ..the best thing parents can do is to try to be friendly with the kids....and of course this you have explained beautifully in your article......but to what extent they should be friendly.....???do we see anything wrong with this approach......